Although this advice page is important to CAKE, we admit neglect due to the current demands on our time and mental energy. Please keep writing with your questions and concerns. We'll get back on it. In the meantime an important quote:
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." --Dr. Suess

*Submit your questions to: cakeadvice@yahoo.com (All questions cannot be answered, but all mail will be read).

Question:

Dear CAKE,

Ever been in a situation where you tried to be cool at a meet-and-greet, but just ended up freezing up and doing nothing instead? You know, like when you have the chance to meet one of your all-time favorite bands and you intend to make some clever and witty remarks complimenting their music and throwing in subtle references to old tracks without sounding obsessive (but clearly knowledgeable). This doesn't come to realization, and instead you say almost nothing at all to them and even forget to get autographs.<br>

Any advice on how to stay cool in future situations like this?

Thanks,

Christian

Answer:

Dear Christian,

The guys waiting to be dismissed from the meet-and-greet would be very appreciative of the way you operate. You must have been reading their minds.
Certainly anything you would've had to say would have been well-received though. Thanks.

Bring cue cards next time with your questions prepared. We expect complete sentences. I hope someone in the band will have the decency to talk to you. There is always plenty of dense, expansive awkward silence to embrace. As always, the support you give by simply attending our show is enough.

We are almost always impressed by the random t-shirt designs we see by the attendees at meet-and-greets.

Good Luck,

CAKE

Question:

Dear CAKE,

I guess this question would be for Mr. Di Fiore (or anyone else).

My eleven year-old daughter started the school band this year and decided to try the trumpet. When she listens to your music, she picks out the notes and tells me what they are. She can read the music but is having such a hard time making the sounds come out. She thought about switching instruments but said she couldn't give up on her horn because she was attached to it. She listens to your music and tries to play along with it. I have told her that it takes years of practice to become great and it will come to her in time. Most of the time she is in tears when she is done practicing. I hate to see her so defeated. Do you have any advice for her about when you first started? She respects your talent and would probably listen to you.

Thanks so much,

Hannah

Answer:

Hannah,

Tell your daughter to go easy on herself. As a joke, I call the trumpet a medieval torture instrument. She should play some long tones. Nice and easy. Also, at times when she is watching T.V. or in the car (especially if there are no other siblings around), she can just play the mouthpiece. The feel and sound of that are not satisfying, but the more time on the mouthpiece, the faster the progress. Also, she should have fun in the school band, and progress slowly but surely with her skills.

Good Luck!

CAKE

Question:

Dear CAKE,

I have a 15 year-old daughter that was blessed with being beautiful. It is to the point of embarrassing out in public as she is stared at by all men. I am proud, but also get angry when they don't even care if I catch them. She seems to not care, but it bugs me to no end. Anything I could do to chill out?

Thanks.

Answer:

Dear Sir,

We sympathize with your predicament. It is understandable that you feel uncomfortable with other men's behavior. Could the bar be raised on general rules of honor these days?

The truth is, it really doesn't matter what might be happening in someone else's brain. What matters is your own peace of mind. If it helps, just remind yourself that it is perfectly natural for the human eye to be drawn towards beauty. It's like a moth towards a light bulb. The moths, and the men, can't help it. It will ease your mind to notice that many women might also be admiring, with a purely aesthetic agenda, the allure your daughter possesses.

Attractiveness brings power, but you can facilitate your daughter's other talents and interests in order to ensure she is a well-balanced individual. The tragedy is when girls don't work towards becoming completely self-actualized because perhaps they learned at an early age the value that being a sex-object can bring.

She is fortunate to have a thoughtful father, and there is no reason to believe attention brought to her because of her appearance will hold her back from a happy and fulfilling life.

Hang in There,

CAKE